Hi there, I’m Hiro Nakamoto, just a humble delivery guy biking around the origin ‘metaverse.’ My name is an amalgam of Hiro Protagonist and Satoshi Nakamoto. My residual self-image - or how I think I look - is similar to a neo-samurai. My avatar skin changes depending on what virtual world I’m in.

Hiro is a character in Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash, an ancient book dating back to 1993. Satoshi Nakamoto is a mythical hero that supposedly invented Bitcoin, a digital currency from the time of cash payments that still gets traded in the underground corners of the contemporary megaverse.

Unfortunately, it’s 2022 in your timeline and the megaverse doesn’t exist. What you optimistically call the ‘metaverse’ is actually a loose collection of confederacies all trying to make a buck, scale an audience and figure out how virtual reality works.

It was until 2024 that I got my lucky break. As crypto was booming, they went ahead and gave me my own website.

It’s across this virtual wasteland of an archipelago that some idiot has programmed me to deliver Pizza. Imagine having to cross a border and show an ID every time you need to eat, and you’ll understand my apparent lack of zeal.

The digital renaissance hasn’t happened yet. This means all of the lands I inhabit look like they have been designed by a non-player-character with zero aesthetic taste. Across this digital expanse of free imagination, the art, architecture and trading system still mimic the physical world. I can communicate in speech and text in over 50 languages, but right now most virtual populations speak English and belong to a twentieth century nation-state. It’s all a little sad.

Subscribe to this mailing list for weekly pizza deliveries in your inbox (and don’t forget to tip!). You’ll also find me hanging out in pretty much every virtual community there is.

One day soon, we’ll ride or die in the metaverse. But not yet my friend, not yet.

Hiro Nakamoto